Sounds exciciting doesn't it?

Unfortunately it wasn't. And hasn't been for two years now. What was once the highlight of many a bleak January is now nothing more than a direct marketing ploy. One or two (four to be exact) nice things afloat on a sea of absolute dross (and absolutely pristine Barbour).

On the upside I did manage to enter and leave the building without incident. And believe me it was a minefield of possible incidents.



Heather Leigh West - Drop A House

More tales from the road

Paramoudra on chalk outcrop.

Can I ask a question, what is that?

That - is a Norfolk flint rock. And, before you ask - yes, your husband does look gay.*

* No I didn't really say it, but oh how I wanted to. Had I been in a more jovial hail fellow well met frame of mind I would have. Tell the truth and shame the devil.

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Now playing on iTunes: Village People - Y.M.C.A.
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To quote Addison DeWitt - you are too short for that gesture

The Daily Mail's Jan Moir on the Yves Saint Laurent bronzes -

The 18th-century bronze rat and rabbit heads sold at auction in Paris this week are stunning pieces of art.

Valued at £28million, the bronzes are now the subject of a diplomatic tug-of-war as Chinese authorities insist that they were looted in the last century. Never mind the international implications. For me, the bronzes sum up everything you need to know about the fashion industry. For they were previously owned by Yves St Laurent and displayed in the hall of his Parisian apartment.

Fashion designers make even bigger profits than bankers. What does that say about the real value of clothes? If only greed was so last century, too.


This, coming from a woman who probably thinks of Jaeger as haute couture, is a little more than laughable. Perhaps, if she could find a coat and skirt that didn't make her look like a sausage her tune would be different.


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Now playing on iTunes: Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl
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Remember what Joan Crawford said to the Board of Pepsi Cola?

Dear hobac

I recently came across your anonymous "blog" promoting your market stall in Portobello Road. It is a well constructed "blog" making good use of the template provided by Blogger.

Most of the "Blogs of Interest" that you list on your "blog" are foreign so I assume you are not English. Despite that, you do have a keen sense of irony and have very wittily chosen to call your "blog", and possibly your market stall, "The House of Beauty and Culture". As your main interest appears to be old bones and dead animals I would have thought that "The Charnel House" would be a more fitting description.

I have no objection to hunting or the wearing of furs but I cannot understand how anyone could take seriously the tacky rubbish that you are trying to sell. Presumably most of your customers are American. Maybe you are familiar with the expression involving "money" and "old rope".

hey ho

an occasional "blog" viewer



Dear occasional "blog" viewer - P Adams(adamsp76@tiscali.co.uk)


Clearly you are not getting the tone. The only reason I highlight Portobello Road is to point out just how small and ignorant the general public can be. Thank you for helping to prove the point.

At no point have I ever promoted either my services as a decorator or as an antiques dealer. If that were my intention I would have linked the blog to my website. And, accepted advertising.

You are absolutely correct in your assumption that I am not English, but I am British. As you seem to posses such keen skills of observation, I trust you understand the difference. I am surprised that you, an Englishman, are not familiar with the origins of The House of Beauty and Culture. Perhaps you are just too young, too straight, and, or, too provincial to know.

Apart from our tacky rubbish, I hazard a guess that there are in fact far greater things that you do not understand. If I may be so bold as to suggest that you edify yourself with those things first.


HOBAC

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Now playing: Kevin Aviance - Cunty
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Boo, Shame, Boo!

As reported in the Los Angeles Times, Bob Knoke, of Mission Viejo, Amanda Stanfield, of Monrovia, Jim Domen, of Yorba Linda, and J.D. Gaddis, of Yorba Linda, celebrate returns for Proposition 8 at an Irvine hotel.

Anyone would think he had just won the Smallest Dick In The World contest. Mind you, that would probably be a step up.

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Now playing: Antony and the Johnsons - Atrocities
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Pounds? No idiot, drachma

This is the perfect planter/object for the room.


Garouste & Bonetti
Urn 'Lesbos' 1996
glazed ceramic
yellow and white gold leafed handles
purple / green / blue
H46 x W77 x D50 cm
£3,500

The client's response and my thoughts interjected - Not what I thought it would look like. To be fair, I think it's too expensive for what it is. Shame you don't say that at Gucci and Louis Vuitton. Are you sure the handles are not solid gold or silver? As if that would make a difference. Let's keep looking. No. You keep looking. I'm done. Maybe I can find something that makes more sense. What, you mean plastic? We are in a recession!!!!! Pig.

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Dear God,

I am not fourteen years old. I am not, and never have been, a good girl. Regardless, maybe you can still give me a sign letting me know what in the hell is happening around me.

It seems they are moving on from all things mid-century and will be embracing boho chic. Gag. Not because the style is repugnant, but because of how they, as is their wont, will bastardise and cheapen it.

In the latter part of the 20th Century only two people have been able to successfully capture the Bohemian spirit:




The first being the multi faceted Gloria Vanderbilt Cooper, as seen here photographed by Horst P Horst from Horst: Interiors. For more on Mrs Cooper and her New York apartment, visit An Aesthete's Lament.


The second is the transplanted Dutch designer Koos Van Den Akker.


Not from Celie

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Now playing: Shug Avery - Miss Celie's Blues (Sister)
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Mary, please!

Skip ahead 9 minutes 3 seconds



Shazia (to Preston): ....Why don't you go do that because it's not so labour intensive. I thought that was the most disgusting thing you could have said to me!

Jeff: Shaz, did you call him an a-hole?

Shazia: I probably did.

Jeff (condescendingly): Isn't that the most disgusting thing you could say to somebody?

I shall say no more as this will undoubtedly only turn ugly. But, what a prig...


P.S. As for the exchange between Eddie and the dealer, if that had been me (in the role of the dealer, of course)... now that would have been some D. R. A. M. A.

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Now playing: The Smiths - Frankly, Mr. Shankly
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More tales from the Road

This one is called The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.




The Good:
Even though this couple have been haunting our stand, on and off, for about 8 years I have never once told them their fortune.
This isn't just good, it's a flipping miracle.

The Bad:
All began when the wife asked the price of a rare edition of a Rowland Ward Records of Big Game. In spite of its rarity she thought it too expensive. When I pointed out that a similar copy had sold at auction the previous week for double what we were asking, she thrust the book back at me saying, Well, you should probably sell it at auction. She thought she was being cute. I thought she was being a prat. And, how much I just wanted to beat her senseless with the book. I still think of it every time I see her. Ever since our first encounter all they do is ask prices and pull faces. That is, if they get the chance. Normally when I see them lumbering towards the stand I make myself scarce.

The Ugly:



Well, someone has to tell them. Mother Nature wasn't kind, I don't see why I should be?


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Now playing: Burl Ives - The Ugly Bug Ball
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Just as one is happily going about one's business..

quietly building a collection, Hatta Byng has to go and spoil it.

I recently decided to stop taking House & Garden (UK edition) as it has been a while since anything that has graced those venerable pages has piqued my interest. That is until I saw the recent post, Object Lesson, that An Aesthete's Lament did on Thomas Wiggins's house in Epsom. Low and behold the spread was not disappointing. Except for maybe the dining room curtains. Perhaps they just didn't photograph well...

Also included in the June issue was a spread on retail legend Joseph Ettedgui's new flat. No surprises here. Seamlessly perfect and tasteful as one would expect. Just like one of his former shops. What one did not expect to see were vases by Constance Spry being highlighted. Not just in the spread but also in Hatta Byng's feature Copy That. The title says it all, don't you think?



Until now these esoteric objects have been the province of the die hard collector. Undoubtedly, every bored design dilettante from Chelsea to Notting Hell will now be in search of them. Not because they get them, but because Joseph has them. Thanks Hatta Byng. Should one of said dilettantes get in my way, let their fate be on your head. Trust me, it will make the Celine bag incident at I.Magnin look like child's play.


Mantel Vases, 1937, Constance Spry.

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Just couldn't resist this one

Saw these on Beach Bungalow 8, and naturally no one liked them. To each their own.

Of all the comments this one, left by Anonymous - 10:24 AM PDT, struck me in particular:

I actually feel ill after seeing these. One can only wonder what the person who would have this in their home or shop wish for this to convey about them?

Now, I can't help but wonder if they are in fact interested in a genuine response or if they are really just looking for some sort of validation of their opinion? Experience, and the opening line, tells me it is the latter. Regardless, here is the opinion from one who has not only sold such lamps, but also has one of these very lamps in their own house.

As difficult as some may find it to believe, there are people who recognise that the world is a less than perfect and pristine place. Rather than live in a sanitised version of the world, we embrace it in all its hideous splendour. We strive to find beauty in that hideousness. Our lives are filled with chiaroscuro. We are passionate about who we are and what we do. While one may see just two vulgar lamps made from detached feet, we see how nothing is wasted. We find beauty in that. We try to understand the need/desire to create them.

Most of us start this journey by acquiring these things. These things that others find distasteful — so offensive to their delicate sensibilities. Initially we are drawn to them because they are bizarre. Later, we fall in love with them because they signify to the world how we are not like you.

Baudelair said it best, In art, only the bizarre is beautiful.

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