Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Remember what Joan Crawford said to the Board of Pepsi Cola?

Dear hobac

I recently came across your anonymous "blog" promoting your market stall in Portobello Road. It is a well constructed "blog" making good use of the template provided by Blogger.

Most of the "Blogs of Interest" that you list on your "blog" are foreign so I assume you are not English. Despite that, you do have a keen sense of irony and have very wittily chosen to call your "blog", and possibly your market stall, "The House of Beauty and Culture". As your main interest appears to be old bones and dead animals I would have thought that "The Charnel House" would be a more fitting description.

I have no objection to hunting or the wearing of furs but I cannot understand how anyone could take seriously the tacky rubbish that you are trying to sell. Presumably most of your customers are American. Maybe you are familiar with the expression involving "money" and "old rope".

hey ho

an occasional "blog" viewer

Dear occasional "blog" viewer - P Adams(

Clearly you are not getting the tone. The only reason I highlight Portobello Road is to point out just how small and ignorant the general public can be. Thank you for helping to prove the point.

At no point have I ever promoted either my services as a decorator or as an antiques dealer. If that were my intention I would have linked the blog to my website. And, accepted advertising.

You are absolutely correct in your assumption that I am not English, but I am British. As you seem to posses such keen skills of observation, I trust you understand the difference. I am surprised that you, an Englishman, are not familiar with the origins of The House of Beauty and Culture. Perhaps you are just too young, too straight, and, or, too provincial to know.

Apart from our tacky rubbish, I hazard a guess that there are in fact far greater things that you do not understand. If I may be so bold as to suggest that you edify yourself with those things first.


Now playing: Kevin Aviance - Cunty
via FoxyTunes


mamacita said...

I cannot understand how anyone could take seriously the tacky rubbish that you are trying to sell. Presumably most of your customers are American.

Up yours, limey bastard.

Pigtown-Design said...

Have you seen the "blog" of "unnecessary" quotation marks? P Adams could use a lesson.

HOBAC said...

Punctuation, Mamacita, punctuation. It should be, an "!" not a "."

Suzy said...

Fantastic! Thanks so much for sharing, you've made me laugh out loud for the first time in ages! If this is what you call "going out with a bang" I can't wait to read more!

columnist said...

Great exchange! I love a harsh rebuttal.

HOBAC said...

Suzy - sort of, this is merely the sound the fuse makes as it sizzles.

An Aesthete's Lament said...

I love when you unsheath your dagger. What a dreary person adamsp76 must be ... the apartment he was flogging on certainly was ...

An Aesthete's Lament said...

Oh, and his description states that he's straight and 30 (at the time of the posting) and of average cleanliness ... oh, and he lives in Crewe ... those details explain so much, don't they?

An Aesthete's Lament said...

J'adore the idea of calling a business The Charnel House, though ...

HOBAC said...

AL - Why Captain Butler, how you talk!
My hero! He is exactly as one would have imagined. Fancy having to advertise for a flatmate — sounds as if someone is a bit of a Johnny-no-mates.

I just knew his surroundings would be generic.

I don't know how you managed to find that, but I am delighted you did.

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

Well, ouch. On so many levels.
Very well done reply.

Suzy said...

If that's just the sizzle, I can't wait for the bang!

thombeau said...

Well said, dear friend!

My favorite response---good for almost any occasion---is: "So, what you're that you're a bitch!"

It would definitely have worked in this case.

Keep up the great work!